Hello, so you are interested in learning about little ‘ol me are you? I can’t imagine why, but none-the-less, here you are. My name is James and I am the Knock-Off Nerd. I have been observing, collecting and ridiculing knock-off products my entire life and decided in February of 2014 that the world needed to hear all my thoughts on the bizarre, ridiculous and at times obscene rubbish that I have seen during my time in this realm, and so the Knock-Off Nerd was born!
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Q: So what started this obsession? Were you cursed by a warlock or something?
A: When I was young, my family was poor. My mother, brother and I survived the world together as best we could and pinched every penny possible until Christmas time when Santa would spoil us as rotten as possible. While Santa may have been a saint as he is in your world, in my world Santa was also lacking in elves and so sometimes the things that were cobbled together in the workshop were… interesting to say the least. Sure we would get a real Transformer or Ninja Turtle and every year somehow we got a Nintendo game, but they were generally surrounded by fun and unique knock-offs. I think of my mom every time I write one of these reviews (except the My Little Pony sex toy review. She would roll over in her grave if she read that one!)
Q: I can’t tell by your subtle commentary – Do you like Apple or something?
A: I do, although I play a fanboy character in my writing much more than I am in real life. That being said, I am writing this on a Macbook, looking at my Apple Watch, listening music on my iPad, texting my wife on my iPhone while my kids are watching the Apple TV, which is streaming on my Apple TimeCapsule router. If I have offended any Apple haters out there just know that my wife prefers Windows and Android while my eldest child also prefers her Android phone.
Q: Where do you find this crap?
A: AliExpress is a great place for the knock off tech, although you have to dig to find the weird ones. I also do weekly searches at dollar stores and 2nd hand stores and every now and then I run down to Chinatown. It’s like a real life Pokemon Go – except I am capturing garbage instead of Pokemon.
Q: Why do you have Dragon Quest articles on the site? What does that have to do with anything?
A: In a past life I was known as ‘diasFlec’ and was the owner of the now defunct ‘Dragon Quest Castle’, which was a popular Dragon Quest site in the early days of the Internet. I wanted to repurpose some of that content since I had a few interesting tidbits.
Q: Do you buy everything you review?
A: The purpose of this website if primarily to make you laugh, however even in that context I want to provide you with the most honest review possible. I do not write a joke simply because the joke can be told, but rather because the product I am reviewing inspired the joke. To do that honestly, I need to purchase the product. There have been 2 exceptions so far, due to the significant financial investment required, but every other item on the site was bought and paid for – or at least will be paid for once I clear my Visa bill.
Q: The articles are long. I want instant gratification!
A: Not really a question, but I’ll allow it. I’m chatty, what can I say? I do not update this site as often as I like (work, parenthood, home owner responsibilities and the like are my primary functions) and so I want to bring you as good and thorough an article as I can when I update. I may experiment with YouTube and short-form content soon, but for now I feel long form content is the best approach for my readers (not to mention Google SEO as well…)
Q: Do you collect anything other than crappy knock-offs?
A: Yes. I am a NES collector, Apple collector, Dragon Quest and G1 Transformers collector. I am also quite broke now as you can imagine.
Q: What are your favourite bands and TV shows?
A: Nirvana, Sisters of Mercy, Soundgarden, Front Line Assembly, Depeche Mode and Switchblade symphony make my ‘trapped on an island iPod’ list. Goth, Grunge and Industrial are my favourite styles in general, although I have a fond love for 80’s pop that I cannot seem to shake no matter how old I seem to get.
As for TV – I like a lot of older sitcoms such as Frasier, Seinfeld and even the Golden Girls, but my primary source of entertainment comes from YouTube – The Angry Video Game Nerd, RedLetterMedia and anything from the TWiT podcast network are what you will usually find me watching.
Q: How’s your sex life?
A: I am also a big fan of b-movies such as the Room, which are a type of knock off depending on how you look at it.
Q: I have a question!
A: Go ahead and ask in the comments below 🙂